Easier to Run
by AlmightyShroom
Summary: What happens when you lose control? (warning, boredom wrote this and so did hormones. Its sad)


Um...Don't ask, boredom, again. This is pretty sad, and I know it probably wouldn't happen. But ya know, its called fiction for a reason.  
No flames please, and R+R.  
  
Disclaimer: Well, I think that this is an obvious answer....  
Easier to Run  
It's easier to run   
Replacing this pain with something long  
It's so much easier to go  
Then face all this pain here all alone  
'Strike right, up left and to the side.'   
  
I jumped away just as my opponents blade swung down, my momentum swinging me into a set of attacks.   
  
'flat side, left right.'   
  
'quarter turn blade left thrust.'   
  
I nearly do the attack before realizing what it would do. I pull back quickly startling my opponent. 'Left right, ark!' My mind persists.   
  
'It will snap his neck.'   
  
'Switch the blade, be merciful.'   
  
'I no longer kill.'   
  
Something has been taken from deep inside of me  
a secret I've kept locked away no one can never see  
wounds so deep, they never show,  
They never go away  
Like moving pictures in my head  
for years and years they've played  
During my inner argument my opponent had advanced, drawing a second sword from his belt. "Come come Bottosai, no need to prepare for you last wishes."   
  
'Left swipe, Himura Hensha Tolsa.'   
  
'No good, that will break his spine.'   
  
'You will not defeat him while caring about his life, he will make sure of that.' I dodged a double swipe, did a weak and expected move buying myself more time.   
  
'Quick, his left arm lingers near his hip, his left side is wide and it beckons a sword!' I can feel the familiar shiver of excitement as my sword connects with his arm, an old and scared wound breaking open, spraying red life from his veins. We both draw back, his sneering eye's watching mine. He knows of my internal struggle, he's hoping it will distract me, giving him a chance to win. I will not allow that.   
  
If I could change I would  
Take all the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would  
If I could change I would  
Take all the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
I would take all my shame to the grave  
  
My resolve begins to weaken as I see the mocking glare reflecting off of his almost black ireses. I feel can see all the people he's killed, all the shame he's brought to this world. My mind spins slightly as I see too much of the old me in him, telling me to release. I can see his masked surprise as my eye's turn a shade of piercing amber. I can feel the Bottosai inside me rising, gaining power over my conscious.   
  
'Left jab, knee strike.' I do the move without resistance, my opponent falls for only a second before regaining his feet.   
  
It's easier to run replacing this pain with something long  
It's so much easier to go  
Then face all this pain here all alone  
  
'Quick now, knee strike, left blow up.' I duck his rather sloppy ark and land the hilt of my sword on his knee. He doesn't even have the chance to cry out before the sword lance's up from his left leg to his right shoulder. He drops quickly without a sound.   
  
I look down as my mind begins to clear. The battle over and my other sense's returning to me. I have an audience. I turn, Sanoske is standing there in mute shock, his eye's grinding into mine. I'm not sure what to make of his surprise until a small drop of crimson blood drips from my eyelash. I look down to my sword and watch as the last of the red streams snake their way down my blade.   
  
Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past  
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have  
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back  
and never moving forward so, there'd never be a past  
  
I unconsciously flick the weapon, shaking the blood from it. My horror is strangely numbed and I look toward my opponent, laying still on the green grass. A million of the same pictures snap to the front of my mind before I shove them back. The bottosai inside me has quieted, a mocking silence showing me quite clearly who has won. My sword drops from my hand, my knee's give out.   
  
I bury my face in my hands, the knowledge that, in a battle I could have easily won without blood shed, I lost my control and killed when I said I never would again. Disgusted at my body's excitement to the whole thing I grab my sword, hefting it quickly above my head.   
  
Sanoske finally comes from his surprise and run's forward, yelling at me to stop. I point my sword at him, warning him off.   
  
If I could change I would  
Take all the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would  
If I could change I would  
Take all the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
I would take all my shame to the grave  
  
"Kenshin." He say's with a quivering voice. "I don't know what you think your doing, but I'm not going to let you do it." I sneer at him and he unconsciously takes a step back.   
  
"Like you have a choice." Then, before he can react (or I can rethink my decision) I throw the sword into the air, and watch it fly over the tops of the tree's. "There." I say weakly, the blood flowing from my neck fast draining my strength.   
  
Just washing it aside  
All of the helplessness inside  
Pretending I don't feel misplaced  
It's so much simpler then change  
  
Sanoske's large hand clamps over my neck, trying to staunch the bleeding. "Kenshin you baka." He say's softly to me as I let myself lean into his weight.   
  
"I lost control to easy." He has to lean his head closer to mine to hear my soft words. "It was this or chance hurting one I love." My head is spinning but somehow I hear Sano's muttered reply.   
  
It's easier to run,   
replacing this pain with something long  
It's so much easier to go  
then face all this pain here all alone  
  
It's easier to run  
  
"We would've helped. This is going to kill them Kenshin." I know with an eerie clarity how everyone will react, but its to late to rethink my decision now. My heart skips another beat, and just before the darkness takes me I hear the muted cry of a women.   
  
If I could change I would  
Take back the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made   
  
It's easier to go  
Mrs. Kauro?  
If I could change I would  
Take all the pain I would  
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would  
If I could stand up and take the blame I would  
I would take all my shame to the grave  
  
*******  
  
I know, I know. But I warned you!  
Ok, I wrote this again in 3rd pov, so if you want me to post that one too please R+R 


End file.
